(*Inspired by Pastor Rick's sermon last Sunday)
When many go to define what love is, they would say it's that tingling, removed from earth feeling. This is true to an extent, but as many know, that tingling, excited feeling tends to fizzle out after the first couple months...So how does this love thing really work? What does true love mean? And where do we get it?
The first this we have to learn is that true love IS NOT the feelings. It's not all about the feelings that the other person gives you, or the things you expect to get from them. If you believe this, the relationship will fail. That is why so many divorces happen, why there are so many break-ups. Nobody will give you those tingling feelings for 50-60 years straight! And you certainly can't give them those feelings in return for that long! So how does it REALLY work?
Love is about putting that other person's NEEDS ahead of your WANTS. It's about caring for that person so much, that you'd do anything to make sure they have what they need. If you both do this for the other person, you have nothing to worry about. However, there is so much selfishness out there and wanting what you can get from a relationship, that there are break ups and divorces around every corner. In reality, anyone could get together and work out just fine if no one was selfish. Of course we have to think about faiths and beliefs too, but just think about all of those arranged marriages that happened years ago, and still take place in other cultures today. Most of those work somehow...
When you look at your relationships, think about what is not working, the dig back to the reason why that this isn't working...odds are it's because someone is selfish. Abuse and immorality are whole other stories however...that's selfishness, but include danger.
Is there something you can change about yourself? Are you giving the other half what they need before you're expecting what you want?