What Truly Matters

God has been SO stinkin' good to me! I can't believe how amazing He is and how amazing His works and blessings are! He is the ultimate sculptor of my life.
I've spent the last year of my life trying to abandon everything for Him - my job, my relationships, my money, my possessions, my time...everything. At first it was so hard and down right scary, but now I feel so free of everything. I have less worry because I know that He will provide and He won't fail me.

I've also been doing well at keeping myself busy instead of moping around and complaining about my situations (specifically singleness) over the last few months. And what do you know- He has sure shown me that when I do His work and put my faith in Him, and not worry about where my life will be and with whom, He sends such amazing blessings and such a great and unexpected time!

I can't even begin to explain just how blessed I am. This whole last year has been so hard and scary, yet I've been at such peace about everything. He has brought the right people into my life at the exact moments I needed them- even though I didn't realize I needed them at the time. Just one big WOW!

It's funny that when you let everything go, and stop worrying about having everything you need and desire, that is when God's provision truly comes out! I have seen this so much over the last few months!

The moral of the story, let go-let God. He is good and He won't EVER fail you. When you reach this true realization, He will bless you indeed. I wish many people could see this - especially those girls chasing after guys in fear of being alone their whole lives. It doesn't matter what I lose in this life, because I'll never lose what truly matters in this life. =) Pin It

"Taste and see that I am good..."

I must say that this "mountaintop" experience from the GEMS Conference in Colorado has truly touched me. I am in awe of my Creator and appreciate little things He's placed before me day to day. I pray that this awe doesn't wear off too hastily and that I can be a leader growing in the fear of the Lord.
I long to be unashamed for my Father. I'm sick of sitting back and not standing up for what I believe is right or wrong. I'm sick of being walked on and allowing things to just slip by.
Why do we live in sin when we know that the most important thing in our lives is Christ? Why not live for Him when He is the sure option? We don't give Him the credit He deserves and we live like He has done absolutely nothing for us. I hate it. I'm so fired up against people who pretend they are what they aren't. How can we be positive examples of the Christian faith when we are doing what the world endorses?
Then there is the other side of the spectrum.
The Christians who think they are too good for the world. They walk with their noses up high all haughty like, ignoring the people who so desperately need to know who Christ is. They see Christians and think we are too good. Yet we are awful when we act this way. We are hypocrites.


Personally, I'm so afraid of the vulnerable things in my life right now. I'm afraid of drama that doesn 't even belong to me. I'm afraid of being thrown into drama that I don't want to be a part of. I don't know where I'll be in a year, or what I'll be doing, but I am certain of one thing:
God has always been so good to me. He is good. He will always be good.
My life on this earth is just that: life on earth. Heaven is the ultimate goal and prize. When I aim for things of this earth, all I will get is earth. When I aim for heaven, I'll get earth thrown in. CS Lewis tells us this. Forget the drugs, drinking, sex, swearing, and negative input. I'm done with any negativity in my life. I long to be done.
Why should I rely on people when they let down? God is unchanging. He is good.
I pray for discernment and direction. Only God knows me truly and only God knows where I need to be. Pin It

Pleas to my Father

Lord, give me strength to get through what's ahead, and to let go and be at peace for what is behind.
Send me strong people to keep me alive in you. Help me not to hold my tongue when I need to speak up. Don't let me settle. Challenge me.
Help me realize that some things I can't take responsibility for or please everyone that I encounter. Help me to realize that not making everyone happy doesn't make me a horrible person, but help me to say "no" more often.
I want to live a life unashamed of You. Who cares about earthly things when I can have eternity with You. I don't need the luxuries of this planet, when I can have an everlasting love with You.
I've been so tired lately, Lord. I've been frustrated more than usual, fed up with situations, and people. Please, please keep me going. I can't do it without You. I wish more people realized how much You are needed in their lives. I don't know how they do it without you - maybe just lame old pride.
I love You, Father. Pin It

On the Same Page

I'm currently working my way through a book called "Lady in Waiting" with my high school girls, and it has been quite an rewarding experience to hang out with them and just listen to the things they are gaining from the study.
I'm looking into another book called "A Man Worth Waiting For" by the same author of "Lady in Waiting" and I am taking in a lot from that book as well. I feel like I'm at that point of life where any decent guy that walks into my life I would fall for, when in reality, I should wait for one that actually is designed for me and will help me in my faith walk rather than bring me down.
In Jackie Kendall's book, she lists things to look for in a decent dude and one reality that hit me was the following:
"If someone is her (right guy), she will not have to stop running (the race), she will not have to change her pace, and she won't have to look behind her, because before she knows it, he will be running beside her. He will keep up with her, and they will continue the race at a complementary pace. This will be her running partner for the journey ahead. They will encourage each other and not trip each other... (God will tell her) 'Ashley, you will only get married to a man who will enhance your devotion to Me. He will not compete with it." (pg 25-26)
Ladies need to ask themselves "Is he looking in the same direction as I am?" And for Christians, we know that direction is Who we run toward. We need to be careful not to let something or someone hinder our progress in the race of faith. In fact, it tells us in Hebrews to "throw off everything that hinders us."
 Ladies, don't settle for just anyone. Make sure he will challenge you in your faith and run beside you in the race! You shouldn't need to slow down for him or stop. Missionary dating is NOT the answer. You can't change him, only God can. There's no reason to date and save when you can be friends and teach him. You'll be the one pulled down before you pull him up. Pin It

A Prayer

God,
I pray to You tonight for help, praise, thanks-giving and confession.
Help me to be an example for You. Help me to not be ashamed of who I am in You and in what I believe in. Help me to say "no" when I should, to reach out when I need to, and to say what You intend for others to hear.
I pray for Your path in my life - whether that means a life of singleness surrounded by friends and loved ones, or a life with a significant other and a family of my own. If that be the case, Lord, please grant me a strong husband who can stand firm in You, show me it's ok to stand up for myself, and who will have a greater love for You than for me. Help him to base his life around Your Word and guidelines for our lives and the lives of any children who could come into the picture.
Lord, if I remain single for life, please help me to accept it, and embrace the family I have in You. You have blessed me with nothing but the best. You have given me mothers to hug and talk to, fathers to feel loved, adored, and protected by, and siblings to cry and laugh with. I thank You more than ever for those people in my life. I would be so lost without the guidance I've had through them. Thank You for showing me that I can make a difference too - for showing me that I am indeed significant to the lives of people.
I praise You for the inspirations You have portrayed to me. The sunrises behind the Caribbean palm trees, the sunsets imprisoned within the trees to the west of our apartment window, and the stars that reveal the mystery of You each night. Your creation is amazing, and Your workings are intricate. I can't even comprehend how You piece it all together day to day.
I ask for forgiveness in my slip-ups. I pray You help me to be better, because I am truly nothing without You. Help me to stay firm in You, and to hold strong in my convictions. Help me to be a wonderful example of You. Please keep me from falling into the crowds of worldly motives and materials.
Lord, I thank you again for bringing me to where I am with the people I have. Only You could have worked out my life in such an amazing way, and I know You will never leave  or fail me. I'm comforted in the knowledge that You have knowledge of my future and my decisions. Help me to make my decisions Yours, and my steps to be in Your path. Bring the right people into my life, help me to cast off the things that will tear me down, and to stand up for You when it gets rough.
I love You, my Father,
Amen Pin It

What Passion Feels Like

I can't even explain the overwhelming passion that I have for the Dominican Republic right now. Just going to church today and seeing the glow on the faces of people who have gone before in light of the recent trip. People are sharing their experiences with others and seeing how God is working in the hearts of potential, future team members and the long time veterans is just amazing.
My heart beats a little harder when I think about the future trips, and the project and what it will do for the community and the kids. I truly feel like that is where I need to be - working with the people in our church and helping to stir that passion by sharing mine. Relationships are so important to me and forming new ones is one of the most amazing feelings for me.
I feel so close to people I've been on trips with, kids in the Dominican, and the new friends I've made in the Dominican that I can't wait to see next trip!
It is such a passion that I can't even explain, but just thinking about it makes me so excited! Pin It

Reflection

Reflecting on this last trip to the Dominican, I find myself to be braver than before, happier, more loved and an array of many other positive emotions and feelings as a result of the trip. I feel like I'm able to stand up more for what I believe in, and for when things are bothering me. I have always been such a pushover and allowed people to walk on me, but I'm happy to say that I have been able to release some things.
I think this is because I feel more loved - not that I was never loved by people on my team - but I was truly able to allow myself to accept it this time around. I never took it seriously, but for some reason something clicked in me with this team. Maybe it was because of the constant advice I was getting from people wiser than me, or the hugs I was given in times of frustration, but all I know is that I feel like I am valued, and because of that I value myself.
With everything that has gone down in my life so far this past year, having a few father figures around really did me some good. For so long I've felt guilty and just down about life, but now that I've felt the love of other fathers around me and know what their point of view would have been in my situation, I know I can move on and be ok.
I am so at ease with so much in my life right now, and I know that people have my back no matter what happens. It's ok to be scared and frustrated, but it's also ok to be loved and accepted.
God definitely did a lot in my life during this trip, and I didn't even realize it until the plane ride home. Pin It