I must say that this "mountaintop" experience from the GEMS Conference in Colorado has truly touched me. I am in awe of my Creator and appreciate little things He's placed before me day to day. I pray that this awe doesn't wear off too hastily and that I can be a leader growing in the fear of the Lord.
I long to be unashamed for my Father. I'm sick of sitting back and not standing up for what I believe is right or wrong. I'm sick of being walked on and allowing things to just slip by.
Why do we live in sin when we know that the most important thing in our lives is Christ? Why not live for Him when He is the sure option? We don't give Him the credit He deserves and we live like He has done absolutely nothing for us. I hate it. I'm so fired up against people who pretend they are what they aren't. How can we be positive examples of the Christian faith when we are doing what the world endorses?
Then there is the other side of the spectrum.
The Christians who think they are too good for the world. They walk with their noses up high all haughty like, ignoring the people who so desperately need to know who Christ is. They see Christians and think we are too good. Yet we are awful when we act this way. We are hypocrites.
Personally, I'm so afraid of the vulnerable things in my life right now. I'm afraid of drama that doesn 't even belong to me. I'm afraid of being thrown into drama that I don't want to be a part of. I don't know where I'll be in a year, or what I'll be doing, but I am certain of one thing:
God has always been so good to me. He is good. He will always be good.
My life on this earth is just that: life on earth. Heaven is the ultimate goal and prize. When I aim for things of this earth, all I will get is earth. When I aim for heaven, I'll get earth thrown in. CS Lewis tells us this. Forget the drugs, drinking, sex, swearing, and negative input. I'm done with any negativity in my life. I long to be done.
Why should I rely on people when they let down? God is unchanging. He is good.
I pray for discernment and direction. Only God knows me truly and only God knows where I need to be.