Monday, March 7, 2011

What Happens When you Can't Say "No"...

I can't even begin to untie the knot my life has become so far in 2011. It seems like so many things have been thrown at me in such a small amount of time and I haven't even had the time to duck, or to catch it all. Satan is on such a prowl in my life and he is trying to tear me down when I have this amazing experience coming up in the Dominican. There has just been so much with work, church stuff, Dominican stuff, health stuff, life stuff... In less than two months I've been forced to move out, get a car - so the other one didn't kill me, make family upset with me for reasons I don't even understand, play a balancing game with Sunday mornings, been told to brace myself for possible major health-related things, and still try and mange to hold myself together for the sake of the kids I work with and the people I come into contact with on a daily basis.
Everything is such a blur, and I find myself fighting tears on a daily basis. It's funny how one day I feel like God has plans and He has it all under control, but then the next day I forget things, or I let someone down, or I'm scrambling for peace of mind.
I don't know how to handle people - heck, I don't know how to handle myself much of the time. I didn't expect 24 to be so insane. I feel like a tired, over-worked, over-burdened, housewife. There is no way I could handle a husband and kids with what I have now. I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but the plates I'm stacking are getting to an uncontrollable height, and the sad thing is that it is probably all my own fault.

"If billions of people are living a Christless life, then there certainly is no time to waste on an American dream."
Radical - by David Platt
Quit begging the question and get out there and start spreading the Gospel! Pin It


Timothy Weller said...

Ok, I have more to say lol. I tend to think as I work and more stuff comes to mind. The hard part is getting it to come out right. And I don't mean to sound mean, or condescending or anything. And I'm sorry if I do. I'm only sharing what is on my mind. To be open and honest with you, as I always am. But I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me for a bit after this.
So I was thinking, you really shouldn't stress too much. Your life is actually pretty good. Especially when compared to someone like me. You have a nice job, a nice car, your own place to live, pretty much debt free. You have lots of friends, many of which help you grow in your faith. Look at me. I have practically no job, no car, I lost my house, I'm in debt. I'm almost constantly in collections right now. I'm single, I have few feriends (which is mostly my fault since I am a quiet person) who don't really help me grow in faith. Many scoff at my religious outlook on life. Despite all of this, I am becoming quite happy with my life. I've grown in faith so much since you invited me to MCRC. And I know in my heart that no matter what happens, as long as I stay strong in my faith, God will look out for me. And bring me to where I need to be, and send me a wonderful girlfriend/wife. I know you are really worried about your health. But just think, you have little control over it, so try not to worry Despite what the doctors say, God will not bring you home until He is ready for you. Don't let your condition run your life. Live your dreams. And you have already done more in this short time on Earth than most people do their entire lives. You have helped so many people, brought joy and love to those around you and those you meet. You have helped spread the Word of God and became a candle for those who need one.
In terms of a husband and kids, if you REALLY want them, God will make it happen. You kind of make it sound like having either is a chore. When it fact it's a great blessing. You will end up with a wonderful husband. One who will help you anyway and everyway he can: Kids, house, spiritual growth, etc. The two of you will grow in God together, strengthening eachothers love. And you both will raise your kids to be Christians. To love God and obey his laws. You will not end up with a husband who will just sit on the couch and watch sports all day (though He will watch football with you ^^) and will hinder your growth and relationship with God.
In response to your family. Though they are angry with you, maybe it was a good thing that he kicked you out. Maybe this will help you grow in God even more. Just throwing this out there, and I know my knowledge of the Bible is nowhere as good as most, but didn't Ruth leave her family? Didn't she go where she was led? And God provided her with a wonderful huisband and a great life. Maybe that'll happen for you too

Scott Appleton said...

I noticed you are a fan of Tolkien and thought I'd drop a note to say hi. I am an author and I'm looking to connect with as many readers in the fantasy genre as I can. My first novel is popular with Tolkien fans so maybe you'll want to check out my blog so we can connect!