I can't even begin to untie the knot my life has become so far in 2011. It seems like so many things have been thrown at me in such a small amount of time and I haven't even had the time to duck, or to catch it all. Satan is on such a prowl in my life and he is trying to tear me down when I have this amazing experience coming up in the Dominican. There has just been so much with work, church stuff, Dominican stuff, health stuff, life stuff... In less than two months I've been forced to move out, get a car - so the other one didn't kill me, make family upset with me for reasons I don't even understand, play a balancing game with Sunday mornings, been told to brace myself for possible major health-related things, and still try and mange to hold myself together for the sake of the kids I work with and the people I come into contact with on a daily basis.
Everything is such a blur, and I find myself fighting tears on a daily basis. It's funny how one day I feel like God has plans and He has it all under control, but then the next day I forget things, or I let someone down, or I'm scrambling for peace of mind.
I don't know how to handle people - heck, I don't know how to handle myself much of the time. I didn't expect 24 to be so insane. I feel like a tired, over-worked, over-burdened, housewife. There is no way I could handle a husband and kids with what I have now. I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but the plates I'm stacking are getting to an uncontrollable height, and the sad thing is that it is probably all my own fault.
"If billions of people are living a Christless life, then there certainly is no time to waste on an American dream."
Radical - by David Platt
Quit begging the question and get out there and start spreading the Gospel!