Day 1, Part 1

People make blogs to talk about their exciting lives. I lack the excitement for right now, and let's be honest, no one wants to read about my day to day activities in an office with 3 people. So maybe I'll focus more on those times when life presented awe-inspiring moments, and times of fun and excitement. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty more of those to come, but until they do...

As we descended into the rugged lands of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, I thought my ears would explode and head fry of fever. Flying with a mucus-filled head isn't always the ideal way to arrive into the Caribbean, but I did, nonetheless. Of course the airport welcomed us with the classic corralling of human cattle and chaos. Mugginess hit our faces as we trekked through the chaotic airport to customs. I wanted to pass out, I was so fatigued and weak. Chaos was overwhelming but the culture shock was almost nonexistant in my careless attitude.
Managing to pull my passport and appropriate documents out, I somehow ended up with my bags and following the group out the door of the airport into the Dominican atmosphere, where we were surrounded by a different type of chaos.
Constant horns and vehicles and a foreign language being shouted from every which way. My head spun and I crawled into an air conditioned van past jungles of seat belts that no one ever wore anyway in this country. I curled up next to a window, wrapped up in my blue hoodie, freezing as sweat oddly enough poured from my forehead.
Passing Spanish billboards and horses in the back of pickup trucks, and people walking in the road, selling fruit and candy, I enjoyed hearing the oohs and ahhs of our first time team members. It was all such a magical experience, even for those of us who had been down this highway multiple times. There was always something new to gawk at during the 45 minutes of stopping and going and close calls and mopeds weaving in the three feet that remained between you and the vehical in the next lane over. Our supposibly 4 lanes of traffic was somehow 6, as street lines were an optional suggestion.
Turning off to a bumpy, half dirt, half paved, falling apart road, we had reached the area of Los Alcarrizos. Just as many vehicles as the city and even more people and dogs running around. The 15 passenger dipped and hopped as we drove through hardcore road damage and potholes. People weaved around us in their 80s style pickup trucks with just as many people riding in the bed. Horns would beep to let the people know not to hit us, and we wouldn't hit them. Armed guards sat in plastic beach chairs, watching our van bump by. We weren't sure whether to feel safer or more alert.
Finally reaching Unto Inc.'s gate, we pulled aside and waited for it to be opened to us to enter the camp. Eyes watched us with a glimmer or curiosity, knowing full well there were Americanos in that van, since there were always Americanos staying at that camp. The van pulled up to the side of the kitchen and halted. We had arrived at our home for the next 8 days. Pin It

Hoops, and fire, and jumping...

I'm learned that adulthood isn't that much fun this week. Maybe it was just the week I had, but I'm left here asking life "why?". "Why the hoops, and the fire, and the jumping?"
It was a fairly frustrating week, with still learning a lot about the job and then dealing with the email scam on Thursday. Still working on getting all the emails right. We switched to Gmail, which is awesome, but so far I'm not impressed with the bulk mailing. I've tried to send out announcements to our church literally 15 times and there are still a good 30 people who haven't gotten them. The emails we have still aren't declared correct from many people, and I've pretty much given up on gmail for the weekend. Probably should be working on that when I'm actually working anyway.
Today I was driving home, and went to stop to turn into my driveway, and I was pressing the brake peddle, and nothing. My brakes went and I coasted down the road, formulating a quick plan, and sort of panicking at the same time, and my brake light went on, after the fact. Luckily I turned down Gordon, and turned around to coast on home. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. Right up there with the whole dump truck incident last winter.
Frustrated and tired, I walked into the house, only to see my three weeks worth of laundry still sitting there, staring at me. The reminder of washing multiple loads of dirty, stinky clothes from weeks ago, that I can no longer remember why some of them smelt that way, was staring me in the face, and threatening to spill out of the hamper. So I started laundry and proceeded to practice songs for Sunday on a guitar that no one in church can hear anyway, because my guitar stinks.
Not my week. Maybe next week will be better. Pin It

A Test of Faith and Reliance

The last week has been extremely challenging for me. I'm still working hard to get into the swing of the new things in my life. I love my new job and feel so blessed to have it. God has truly answered prayers there and placed me on an amazing path of my life. Finding ways to balance every aspect of my life though is one of the most challenging things I've encountered. All the things I have a passion for are hard to come by, because time is gone. With class, climbing, praise band, power point, youth group, Dominican stuff, work, camp, social life and just trying to get organized, doing other things I love is out. Writing hasn't happened in a long time and the time just to sit and quiet myself is nonexistent. I've been reading the same book for a month. Even eating is questionable some days.
I really hope God gives me the discernment to pick out the things that are important and get rid of the activities that I don't have to do. I'm too much of a people pleaser, and I know God will use this experience as a faith journey and show me how to trust in Him and the things He wants me to do.
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On striving for the simple pleasures...

Stepping through ankle-deep puddles and avoiding slippery mud, we made our way through the dripping woods. The path laid lined with soft, solemn, white lights and the fireflies wafted randomly against the dark woods, like gently falling, glowing snowflakes. Faint moonlight reflected off of the puddles and moist tree limbs through the thinning clouds. A light, misty fog encircled us and the dim, glowing windows are barely visible at the end of the path. The occasion felt something like an endeavor the Life or Death Brigade would pursue. There may as well have been stiff army tents, sparkling, crystal glasses of campaign, silky, long dresses and glowering candles waiting at the other side. But what was this all for? Dominion.
Yep, we were so determined to play a card game, that we would trudge through even ankle-deep, mosquito-infested trails to reach our pleasure. There's nothing like sitting with your friends around the dining room table, and playing cards that would demand a curse on them, or send yourself to the market in order to gain more gold and actions to use to your advantage.

(This is just a beginning inspiration. Hopefully more will come...) Pin It

Still Alive

So, yes, it has been indeed awhile. I have had the awesome opportunity to work up at camp for another summer as ropes director, and even though at first glance I was terrified of my position, it has proven itself worthy of making me a stronger person and teaching me how to rely and trust that God won't fail me. I made my focus word for the summer "trust", just because I have always had an issue trusting others and more specifically trusting God, and knowing that He'll take care of me when it's out of my control.
We have been 100% safe this summer, and are looking good for the next two weeks ahead. God has blessed me with an amazing staff who care about details as much as I do. He is indeed taking care of me and has my back.
I was thinking about this whole trust thing with God, and came to the conclusion that there is no reason whatsoever that we need to fear He won't have our backs. We know that God is good, so why do we have such a problem trusting Him? Because we think something bad is going to happen? It doesn't work. And if we know that God loves us, why don't we trust Him to take care of us? Remembering these things have really helped me with this summer and with my unknown future. I hope they help you too. 1 Peter 4:19 Pin It

Anxieties

I have such a hard time knowing how loved and liked I am. I don't have a clue why this is or how to change it, but the little criticisms seem to over-rule the positive things that enter my consciousness. When the only thing someone says to me is a criticism or blame, I hurt.
I'm so scared I'm going to fail, and crash and burn and prove correct what I keep thinking everyone else is thinking. I always feel like I don't do enough, or that I could always do better, which is true to an extent, but when I feel like I have to keep going, just to show someone that I'm NOT weak, and I'm NOT ignorant, I eventually feel like I may just fall down and die of exhaustion.
I hate getting "yelled" at. I have the hardest time handling that feeling of stupidity or feeling like I lack that skill or intelligence, especially when the person standing right next to me is good in everything. I can't compete with the all-around people. When I fail and they prevail I feel pointless. I like prevailing together.
Being sensitive really stinks sometimes. On one hand I notice things quicker, and pick up on moods almost instantly. I have a keen eye for detail and can remember things well, but on the other hand I can't handle rejection. I can't know that someone dislikes me or it shatters me. If I feel like I'm in the way or a pain, I ditch the scenario completely. I would rather go unnoticed than to be there and in the way. I sound really self-absorbed right now, and I really don't like that either.
Why must everything be perfect? If I try, isn't that enough? I hate when people underestimate me, because it really makes me rain on myself. I'm really struggling with these things right now. Pin It

My Journey

Wow. What a journey I have been through in the last month and a half!
I went to Chicago for a couple of days to visit with friends and have some fun. I got to see more of Chicago, including the Millennium Park and more of the city.
Two days later, I turned back around to head to the Dominican Republic. I didn't anticipate getting much out of the trip, but I did. God still teaches me things and He still makes me grow in ways I never imagined I could.
While there, we renovated a house for a man named Pedro and his two sons. His house was unlivable and his family was forced to move 20 miles away and in an unfavorable spot. You literally have to cross a river to get to his house. We put in a floor, painted the outside, put in electricity, a bed, and walls.
We also began the kitchen project in putting in giant pipes for sewage, building up a wall around the campus and putting in a gate. It wasn't much of a start, but it was a start.
It was amazing to see how God had worked in my life as a result of the trip. The last year has felt so dead to me and everything was so dull. I wasn't passionate for the things I used to have fervor for and I could care less about the beauty around me. God really opened my eyes to see Him and is amazing light again. I can't wait to return. Pin It