I think I'm in love with the idea of being in love. As much as I hate cliches, this one is very evident in my life right now. I'm afraid of settling, or saying "oh well, it's not like the most perfect guy is going to walk into my life, so I might as well go with this one." Not every guy is perfect, but I know better than that. I know that God knows what I need now, and what I'll need 10 years from now. I am learning more and more what I want in a husband, but I know that God knows not only what I want, but what I need.
I have felt so stinking tired lately, and a little fed up with life and just people in general. I'm not used to being surrounded by people, or loud people, or being a leader, or balancing so many things in life. I'm tired of pleasing the world and trying to make people happy, then people guilting me when I don't come through. Even when they don't realize they're guilting me...it's just that small look they give you, or that staccato "oh" after you say "no".
I'm dealing with a lot at 24, and I feel like if I'm this busy now, where in the world will I be in 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years? As much as I admire women who run themselves ragged in sacrifice for others and to keep everything moving because if they aren't there the world will fall apart, I don't think my heart can handle that. I think I'd hate my life.
I miss having days of sitting around, drinking coffee, and writing.
Pin It
No comments:
Post a Comment