Sticks and Stones

As I stare at the bruises on my arms from the 6 IV sticks I received, I notice they are healing. One week later, but they are on the track to clearing me of looking like an abuse case. I can't help but think of that phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." While bruises hurt and can't be touched for a few days without a little wincing, words do hurt for a very long time.

I've always been the kid to stick her foot in her mouth, then regret it for days, weeks, months after. I'm not even exaggerating. I still think about the time I said something stupid to someone while working 10 years ago at camp and I still call myself an idiot over it because apparently my joke became someone's reality. I didn't know the history there nor did I know what their life was dealing with in that moment, because 1: I didn't bother to find out. 2: I didn't think outside of my own shoes. Words last. Bruises fade.

We are in a time right now where everyone is throwing around hateful words. They don't realize it - that is the sad thing, or maybe they realize it and not care. Either way, it needs to end. These words are destroying lives, hurting families, and breaking up friendships. If I sound dramatic, then you must be one of the ones flaunting the words, unknowingly expressing rights for the sake of your own agenda, and you fail to notice how your blanket statements and pointedness towards your "friends" can actually do harm right in front of you.

Luckily, in 1 Corinthians 13, we read this: "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

Because of this passage, I can feel a little release. The people who speak harshly to me and have never taken the time of day to understand my life, my history, my family, my struggles, my heart, my daily hardships...don't deserve rental space in my head. The last few months have been hard. I'm going to be brutally honest here: I've had things go through my mind that have been unhealthy, unloving, and have caused me to question who I am as a daughter of the King. Those words have made me depressed for months and it has affected my family. But do the ones who throw words at it, in hopes of solving world problems even care to know the problems of the people around them before casting "their opinion"? Obviously not. 

So from now on, if you're like me and are affected by peoples' words, start over today.
Remember they don't have credibility in your life because:
1) They don't love you
2) They don't care about anything but their words and their "rights". Thus, they don't care about yours, unless you jump on board with theirs.
3) They will never assume the best out of you. 
4) They have not earned your respect. 
5) They will go public and never actually sit down with you to know your life. 
6) They will probably hate you no matter what you say. 
7) They should be ignored for all the reasons listed above. 

I've set a standard for myself when receiving "criticism". If someone is going to cast criticism at me, and I'm going to actually listen to it and consider it, they must:
1) Love Jesus
2) Love the Church (in general)
3) Love me
It doesn't work otherwise. 

You are loved. Just make sure you find those people who love you and meet your criteria and listen to them, not because you are fearful or hateful, but because you are important too. Don't ever allow toxic people to make you go to dark places over political or personal agendas. Those things don't last anyways. Jesus does and His love endures forever.


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Seek First

It is the magical season, filled with love, warmth, lights, parties, and festivities. Baking dozens of cookies to share with all around. Plastering lights on the house and in the house to bring a special kind of glow to the time of year.

I love these things...other than that baking part...I actually hate using an oven and a stove...
But it is indeed the time of year I look forward to the most. I love the family. I love the surprises. And now that I have a child, I love to see her excitement as she grows and comes into a better understanding of what Christmas is.

I believe, however, this is the question for many adults too. What is Christmas? As I scope out the social media and see saddened spirits because of the past or because this year won't be special, I hurt for them. I hurt because they are missing a big piece, or they have been burned this time of year before. And while Christmas is magical with all of the things we try to cram into it, it's magic would be greater and much more consistent if we relied on the biggest piece of all: Jesus.

I shudder when I see others try to make it about things of this world. Or other gods. Or try to argue that Christmas isn't about Jesus. I hurt because I know they hurt or will hurt.

When Christmas expectations aren't met, we are left on December 26 feeling emptier and mostly exhausted, rather than full and fully inspired. What if we did make Christmas about Jesus though?
Would we walk away from December 25th, feeling the light of His presence in our lives, no matter the circumstance, because we just spent time celebrating what He has done for us? I think Christmas is a time to pay dues - never because we are required to, but because He paid it all for us.
Everyday, we should pay it back, but Christmas is one of those times that gets so blown out of proportion with the materialism and the lack of Christ, that I feel we should make it so much more. Making it more of Jesus, makes it less exhausting.

We walk away feeling blessed beyond thought because we know His blessings ring true all the days of our lives when we walk with Him. We walk away hopeful, because He came as a humble baby and conquered on our behalf. We walk away joyful because His coming was a game changer for every aspect of our lives. We walk away peaceful because we are reminded that nothing in the world can touch us when we have Him. We walk away full of love because He is our ultimate example of unconditional, never-ending, never-failing love. We walk away full of light, because we as Christians have a reason to shine.

I get that we want to fight to accept everyone. I get that sharing love is misunderstood with acceptance. (I love my addicted friend, but I don't accept what he does.) I get that we feel that in order to accept everyone, we feel like we need to make Christmas a Holiday. But Christ came first, and He deserves to be FIRST. The FIRST commandments are about Him - in fact, one of the commandments tells us to put Him FIRST. We are to love Him FIRST. 
He has every right to be FIRST at Christmas. We love others, but we put God FIRST.

If I'm going to fight about anything or work to help others who need to desperately know Him, I will work to put Him first and show them how to do the same. He is the ultimate healer, helper, lover, peace-maker, happiness, hope, light. When you have that going for you and people you know have that going for them, you and they can't go wrong.
So I will say Christ is Christmas.
Because He is first. 



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Spring Observations

Gilmore Girls Spring Episode Spoilers coming:
Scroll by now if you haven't viewed it!
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Here are some things I loved/hated/noticed/caused me to gasp on Spring!

~International Food Festival in Stars Hallow?!?! How do I attend?
~Kirk's realization of eating pork...
~Logan and Rory...again...WHAT THE CRAP is this??
~Mitchum Huntzberger...the brief, yet powerful presence.
~Stars Hallow lacking in gays. Seems hard for me (and the town's people) to believe. And the neighboring towns refusing to "lend their gays".
~Trying to get Taylor to come out of the closet.
~ The "Secret Bar" that the whole town has successfully hidden from Taylor, and Babette of all people almost blabs it.
~Liz and TJ accidentally joining a Vegetable Cult...Seems right, yet I'm confused...What exactly is a "vegetable cult"? I'm intrigued, yet don't want to know...
~Paul Anka dreams return! "The REAL Paul Anka!"
~"Someone's been on the Google Box"
~ I want to know if there is more to "the letter" that Emily claims Lorelei sent on her birthday.
~A Second Film by Kirk!!!!! Even worse than the first...
~ "I'm starting an empire. Actually that word was in there, in big, bold letters."
~Paris still scaring everyone at Chilton, and critiquing where her money is going.
~The therapist needed a break from Emily and Lorelei...and just started smoking again
~If Paris says the word "sperm" again...
~Love the "circle of life" theme throughout. Rory back at Chilton advising kids.
~Francie's reappearance. Eeeeeeeee.... "Did I accidentally step into 2003?"
~I would have liked to see Lorelei and Headmaster Charleston go at it again...
~I wonder where Max is?
~Paris' kids are adorable?!
~Doyle and Paris' arguments are still amazing...the stairs...hahaha!
~This Rory-Logan thing...driving me crazy...
~Lorelei talking about Richard's death... another sob session. 
~A Parenthood star appearance! Lorelei (or should I say Sarah?) dropping her Parenthood daughter a line!
~"I slept with a Wookie."
~I hate Sandee...
~Also not fond of Rory's lucky dress...

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Winter Observations

 

Gilmore Girl Spoilers coming up.

Scroll by now if you don't want to share in my observations and excitements from episode 1, "Winter", quite yet...

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Ok...we good? Great. Here are some of my faves from the first episode:

~First observation was that Netflix filed Gilmore Girls under "Children & Family Movies"....ummm....not exactly an accurate spot...

~Rory and Lorelei's opening scene...Oh. My. Word! I think there were at least 30,000 words said in the name of witty, giggle candy. "You've been stuffed up in a glorified tin can for the last 7 hours surrounded by people with consumption, diphtheria, scabbies, rabid dogs, drugged up children..."

"What airline are you flying?"

~Lorelei stopping suddenly from chasing Rory because she "just hit all of her steps"... (this is me...)

~Zach's promotions being the biggest pain in the butt.

~"OOO-ber"

~The town chipping in to get Lulu and Kirk a pig to buy the the town a couple years of them reproducing.

~The troubadour is back! He's secretly my fave...

*Note this is only the first 8 minutes...

~Luke cooking a whole dinner while the girls eat tacos they got elsewhere getting offended. Then Lorelei blaming him for "body shaming" to "trigger warnings" to "the war on Christmas"...bahaha!

~Tater tots go great with tacos. Tater tots go great IN tacos!

~Poor, forgettable Paul...

~Lorelei's suffocating pajamas in the drawer, thus she can't put them away.

~The dirty (as in gross) bathroom dream...

~Fake WiFi passwords at Luke's

~Lorelei's meltdown over the missing coffee maker leading to the firing of a chef.

~The giganormous canvas painting of Richard. "You intended for my forearm and dad's eyebrow to be the same length!?"

~The ugly, sobbing (by me) during Richard's funeral.

~"But after you pass the peyote, what bathroom will you use to throw-up in?" -Emily

~Would you ever have a "fresh kid"?

~Luke's confusion about the surrogate process... bahahaha!

~Paris' current career...oh my!!! The "assessing"...ugh...

~The shocker of LOGAN! WHAT?!?!?! What is this "relationship"?!?!

~Emily in jeans.

~Emily's plan for her death. "It's in the cash box in an envelope labeled 'body-shipping money".

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30 Days of Thankfulness: Fall

I just love fall! It is so gorgeous everywhere, and every horizon looks like a patchwork quilt!
Today is definitely a wonderful reason to love it and be thankful for the beauty of it! God sure gives us some beautiful creation to look at!


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30 Days of Thankfulness: Trials

Today's thankful thought is a "weird" one, but I'm thankful for it nonetheless.
It doesn't feel natural to be thankful for the trials that happen in life. It's one of those things that is horrible and painful, but you have to endure it. I never knew how to be "thankful" for times like this in life until last year when I faced the unknown. I feel like now I talk about it all the time and I have no idea where my faith would be without that experience. I tip-toe the line of treasuring it and dreading it, both longing for the growth and strength it brought me, yet recalling the horrible pain that came along with it.
I look back and see that God was so faithful to me and wish for more experiences that shows the power He has in my life and in my faith. I know and I feel like this is an incredibly hard and weird thing to be thankful for, but I am.
I wouldn't be the person I am and have the faith I have in lesser things if it weren't for it. I now understand why we are told to "consider it pure joy when we face trials" (James 1:2)

I love that song by Elevation Worship:

I will look up for there is none above You
I will bow down to tell You that I need You
Jesus Lord of all

I will look back and see that You are faithful
I look ahead believing You are able
Jesus Lord of all, Jesus Lord of all
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30 Days of Thankfulness: Coffee!!!

That's right...today I'm ever-so-thankful for coffee! Those of you who know me, know my day isn't complete without it. So today, on this Monday where I was in a fog all morning long, I express my gratitude toward coffee and it's pick-me-up powers.

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